Face Down Your Fears

cult
Well, it finally happened. The one thing I feared most…I lost my health insurance. The last several years has been filled with trials and tribulations. Anyone with health issues can tell you…it’s not for the faint of heart. There are many frustrations…financial hardships, dysfunctional bureaucracy, doctors who don’t understand you, unsympathetic billing departments, a situation that really doesn’t add up in a financial sense. For anyone. A person can get lost in the morass. In fact, I had been on a bit of a hiatus from the doctor. Partly because it didn’t make FINANCIAL SENSE. And partly because it didn’t make EMOTIONAL SENSE. I intended to go back at some point. Once I got my life more stable. Once I started making money again. Once I was emotionally available enough to tolerate the dysfunction again. I mean through all of this, one mantra I’ve hung on to has been, ‘No matter what happens, don’t lose your insurance.’

But something happened along the way. It didn’t help much that my premiums went up. A lot. I think this is happening for a lot of people. But at some point you have to face the facts. The facts are that I am a struggling new business owner that just survived two pretty devastating health setbacks. I really don’t have any money. I mean, who does? But I really don’t. I can’t afford these crazy premiums. For the last several years, I’ve been going way into debt to pay premiums that I can’t afford. And to be honest, I’m not even really sure why. Because the reality is that my insurance doesn’t really cover anything anyway.

I’m not really sure what the answer to this quandary is. I’m not even sure if there is one. I think a lot of people are wrestling with this issue these days. But they say that once the one thing you fear most happens, you have nothing to fear. So I like to think that this is a positive development. If I’ve learned anything from the last few years, it’s that sometimes what looks like the end is really just a new beginning. You have to break down what’s not working for you to make room for what is. Stay positive. Keep pushing. Things will look different on the other side. So I am keeping the faith…

Comments are closed.