August 29th, 2007
The number one question on people’s minds when they get sick, I think, is what’s wrong with me and how can I fix it? Definitely, the best thing a person can do for themselves is to live a moderate lifestyle and stay away from ‘trouble’. I think for the first 35 years of my life I espoused this philosophy and got along pretty well. Unfortunately, sometimes things which are beyond a person’s control, and they get sick. Sometimes it’s genetic. Sometimes it’s an accident. Some old habits die hard. In my case, I was living in a place with a really negligent landlord and an open sewer main. Now I have a slew of elusive/allergic/immune system types of problems that everybody seems to know something about but very few people have actually experienced. I have found some things that have been helping, but I am still finding my way.
The biggest obstacle I think to finding your way is that there are so many people out there who are trying to make a living off of making other people better. Sometimes it’s very straightforward. I’ve been told that my problem was so severe that I would need to take drugs to live a normal life. It’s interesting because that doctor, in particular, had such a starkly black and white perception of reality that my gut feeling warning bells were blazing. He seemed to also have a very vested interest in me taking the drugs and was not very subtle about it. I’ve been given oodles of bad advice. Not just from doctors. But from friends, co-workers, neighbors, strangers on the street, and even raw food experts. It’s often frustrating. Because other people can only understand your issue within the frame of their own reality. And when something really weird happens to a person, that experience is often outside of the reality of most of the people who are offering their advice. Usually, the advice given is more a reflection of the person giving it, than the person receiving. People make assumptions about you which are wholly inaccurate based on their own experiences. They have strong feelings about their own experiences. And when you don’t conveniently fit into their model of reality, they take it personally. Ultimately, all of this takes away from actually getting better.
Getting better requires focus. It requires tuning into your own personal journey. It’s ultimately not a social activity. Maybe that’s what the universe is trying to tell me now. I think that eating a lot of the recipes I’ve been reading in raw books is helping a lot. But being on a ‘program’ is less then helpful.
I am making progress, and I am getting better. I’m not an expert, and if I were, I would maybe stop listening to myself.