Archive for the 'Health Care' Category

Reading Between The Lines


July 31st, 2011

nighttime
Well, things haven’t been looking so good on paper lately. But given how inaccurately my paper trail has reflected my reality in the past, I’m not taking it too seriously. (If you are just tuning in, some examples of this might be an unusual and difficult to diagnose AILMENT which afflicts only the most eccentric of people and ensuing LEGAL DEBACLE. I haven’t even mentioned yet the time I got investigated by the health department. But that’s a long story, and it’s getting late).

avo nori
The bad news is that they think I have nerve damage in my upper back too. This prompted an MRI recently which revealed some (not so) surprising insights. Apparently, I have some pleural effusions? Basically, this means that there is fluid building up around the lining of my lungs. This can be caused by AUTOIMMUNE or LIVER disease (the two elephants that always seems to be hanging out at my doctor’s office whenever I show up).


I’ve actually been feeling like I have a build up of some sort in my abdomen for a LONG TIME. I wasn’t really sure if it was fluid or fat. Looking back though, the fluid theory actually makes a lot of sense. It explains why I responded so well to lymphatic drainage, and it was brought up at least once by my colon hydrotherapist/friend, HEIDI. So the findings aren’t terribly surprising although I was expecting to hear more about the nerve problem than my ‘beer gut’.

sour cherries
In other news, sour cherries already came and went for this year. I can’t wait for them to come back around.


I made the most amazing pie!! The sour cherry tart is a definite winner. It was a recipe from RAW FOOD. REAL WORLD.

rasp
I made a raspberry version for my boyfriend because he doesn’t like cherries. Who doesn’t like cherries?!! The other day, I was in the produce aisle picking cherries, and a girl came up behind and said, ‘They’re like summertime crack.’ That pretty much sums it up. My boyfriend is missing out!

tomatoes
I’m also just starting to see my first tomatoes from the GARDEN. The basil is looking really good right now too.

cheeses
Despite all the uncertainty surrounding my health, things are actually going pretty well. My CHEESES are selling quite well in the BIG APPLE thanks to the folks at LIVE LIVE AND ORGANIC.

kombuchaI’m also starting to sprinkle some MUSICAL GUESTS into my UNCOOKING SHOW. This week, I had my first one. They are pretty much my favorite band right now. And the song goes perfectly with the KOMBUCHA episode. Definitely worth checking out if you haven’t yet.  Kombucha is pretty easy to make, and it’s much cheaper when you do(esp. if you have an addict boyfriend like I do).  Incidentally, my boyfriend is on tour again.  And this week, he worked at a really cool festival called FLOYD FEST?  He said the back stage catering included raw food, two self serve juicers with tons of fruits and veggies, and some local kombucha called BUCHI.  How cool is that?

cute apronThe FARMER’S MARKET is going really well too. I love the farmer’s market. I’ve been connecting with some great folks. This week, we had a guest vendor in the booth next to me called SEEDLING DESIGN. She was making these cute little aprons. I snatched one up right away with a matching money pouch to keep my cash in. Two weeks ago, my entire pile of money got caught up in a strong wind and blew all my earnings all over the market. Everyone was scurrying to grab dollars. It was insane! Needless to say, I’ve been looking for a better system to deal with that. And I didn’t have to look very far. The answer found me!  I love it!!  So in essence, I’m not getting too discouraged by the medical dramas.  I actually ‘feel’ like I am making a lot of progress.  Healing is messy.  It’s kind of like cleaning your room.  Sometimes things have to get a little chaotic on the way to a new order.  This is all a work in progress.  And progress is something I am definitely making at the moment!!  I’ll keep you posted..

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Purple Haze


July 11th, 2011

purple haze
The sky outside my CHEF’S WINDOW has been pretty ominous and volatile lately. This was a beautifully intense storm that happened around sunset the other day. I think this is a good sign. There’s plenty of musical evidence out there that says so.


Jimi saw it. And he was flowing with the pulse. That’s for sure.


And let’s not forget about the most amazing super bowl half-time performance ever. Prince was looking at the same purple sky. (He’s from here, you know.)

fireworks
Lots of WILD THINGS going on in my world these days. Check out the fireworks from my friend Mark’s boat. We enjoyed the 4th on the MISSISSIPPI RIVER. It’s amazing how not crowded it was.

freedom chia
Here’s my 4th of July inspired breakfast pudding: chia seeds, almond milk, strawberries, blueberries, banana. It’s healthy and it matches my calendar. My boyfriend just bought a ton of chia seeds for me to experiment with.

me on the fourth
In other news, I’ve run into another setback of sorts. As they say, bad news comes in threes. So I should be good after this. The last few weeks have been brutal. First, I found out of have some RARE DISEASE inspired by my toxic exposure (not surprising if you’ve been following this blog for a while). Then, I found out that the person who KNOWINGLY EXPOSED ME is getting away with it because of some legal technicalities. This basically means that I must shoulder the cost on my own (this has been an extremely expensive setback). Frustrating (more for the injustice than anything), but injustice happens every day. Now, I am running into a road block related to my CRASH. Is it just me? Or is this starting to sound like boot camp for superheroes? It’s kind of a long story. Where to start?

trigger pointsA couple months ago, I found out I have a DISC INJURY in my lower back. This is causing complications like not being able to stand at times and my leg going numb. I have been having trouble with my arm too, but that was seemingly a muscle problem. So, I went in for some trigger point injections (in pretty much the spots shown here). I was reluctant to try this for a long time. I wanted to try the natural methods first. But after a year of trying REALLY HARD, I was not seeing much progress. And I got to thinking…in an ideal world, I could heal this naturally.

side view
But then again…in an ideal world, I would not be absorbing this kind of impact. I think the body has the capacity to heal from a lot. But I also think that this type of injury was not built into the original plan. Perhaps, an unnatural injury deserves an unnatural response. So I decided to try the trigger point injections. Basically, they inject a needle into the spasming muscle and this causes it to relax. Typically, they also inject a steroid. But I opted to do my treatment sans steroid. And I think this was a good choice for me (given my LIVER issues). I actually feel like the injections released a lot of energy. There were big muscle spasms that happened. And the area feels less dense. But unfortunately, the pain in my shoulder is still flaring up. Apparently, this means that I might have a damaged nerve root. And that I likely have a disc injury in my upper back as well.

croutons.
Oy vey! If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The universe is really sending me a message loud and clear. Though I’m not sure if I’ve fully absorbed it yet. I trust that this is going to inspire some really unique and creative solution. That it will send me on a path that I never would have come up with on my own. But I’m not sure if I’ve figured out what that is yet. I can say with certainty that I probably won’t be entering any gymnastics competitions, running any marathons, or breeding anytime soon. But I am eating really well. And coming up with some wild ideas. So, I will keep you posted on my progress…

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The Gift Of The Absurd


June 27th, 2011

circus
Is it just me? Or does it seem like life has been getting more and more absurd lately? People have lost their grasp on reality. Or maybe reality is just too undesirable for people to see right now. So we create these barriers. The foundation for the most insanely absurd world ever to be. That’s what it feels like to me right now.

tsaExhibit A. This poor woman is dying. She’s 95 years old, and she was trying to get on a plane to visit family and share her final moments. She unwittingly became embroiled in a TSA scandal after they felt something funny in her depends. They literally forced her to remove her depends so they could be inspected. I actually got into an interesting discussion about this last night. I understand the reason for the increased security. Of course. We all want to be safe. But when our barriers get so high that we can’t see the pain we are inflicting on a dying 95 year old woman, it’s time to reflect. Isn’t it?

hospital
I am going through something related to this. Five years ago, I was in perfect health. Then, I was exposed to toxic sewer gas in the home I was renting. I’ve gone into this IN MORE DETAIL in earlier posts. The medical aspect of it is absurd. It’s frustrating. And I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I have struggled and fought hard for my health with mysterious issues that are debilitating and expensive. I swam upstream through a medical system that offered very little help or answers. But the most painful part of it to me is the injustice. This issue will more than likely cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of my life and all so that my former landlord could save a few thousand dollars on maintenance. And while he admits to knowingly exposing me to this gas, I’m out of luck. They can’t prove what caused my illness because they don’t know what it is. A perfectly healthy person develops a bizarre immune system and/or liver disorder after being exposed to toxic gas, and he contends that it’s a coincidence. Are you kidding? Really? And the most insane part of it is that he gets away with it. And why? Because this world is absurd! Or perhaps, more realistically, because there is no money to be made from this particular incarnation of misfortune.

autoimmune epidemicI am not the first person this has happened to. Author, DONNA JACKSON NAKAZAWA, has written a book about this. That the incidence of autoimmune related illnesses is skyrocketing. She believes it is from the increasing onslaught of toxic substances that we are exposed to in the modern world. Our immune systems are breaking down, and the medical establishment is creating barriers because nobody is ready to deal with the issue. I am here to tell you though, these barriers are hurting innocent people! This is a problem that is not going to go away. You can only brush it under the rug for so long.

foreclosure crisis
Unfortunately, my problem is only one problem in a sea of problems that people are now attempting to brush under the rug. The foreclosure crisis is affecting many, many more.

financial crisis
Not to mention the impending financial doom that everyone can’t stop talking about. Is it just me? Or are people getting sick of seeing the bad guys winning? Over and over. Enough already! It’s insane.

crash aftermath
Today is officially the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of my BIG CRASH. A time to reflect. A time to look back at how far I’ve come. The last few weeks, I’ll admit I’ve been down and out. I get depressed and hopeless sometimes. It seems like the obstacles never end. Some days, I just want my old life back. Before all of this craziness. It seems so unfair. But what I’m realizing is that dwelling on that just sets me back further. Physically, it triggers my autoimmune issues. And emotionally, I just get depressed. I need to change my outlook. This is absurd. It’s insane. It’s hilarious! Really. It’s like Bill Clinton saying he didn’t inhale. Or Anthony Weiner sending weiner pictures to people on the internet. It makes no sense! So why am I taking it so seriously? No more! I am going to find away out of this mess. And the answers are going to be hilarious…and creative…and a gift! Mark my words.

Exhibit B
Exhibit B. This is my friend, Kristen. She is amazing! She is a musician and a single mom and a survivor. She is recovering from a brain tumor. But you would never know it. She has the most amazing gift for finding joy in every situation. This week, she has gifted me with one of her amazing, creative solutions. One of my big obstacles right now is getting around the limitations. I am selling my products in two wonderful venues, LIVE LIVE AND ORGANIC and the NE FARMER’S MARKET. I would do more, but I can’t. I physically can’t make that much product because of my issues. My leg goes numb if I stand too long, and I have to wear a pain machine the entire time I am working. I would hire someone to help me. But unfortunately, my landlord left me with a mortgage worth of bills to pay so I could save him a little money. I have to find a creative solution. Enter Kristen!

kristen
Kristen started ‘Kristen’s Front Porch Grocery and Lounge’. She has brought some amazing people together. On her porch. There are a number of products available. KALE CHIPS. Tempeh. Fresh vegetables. A CSA drop. And salsa is coming soon, I hear. It’s about as local as you get! She is amazingly selling a LOT of chips! I am actually having trouble keeping up with the demand. But best of all, it is a low pressure gig. Perfect for healing!


Yesterday, she had a front porch social hour where I met Ryan (who makes the tempeh) and Sarah (who grows the veggies). It’s so inspiring to see people coming together and getting around the obstacles. We can do this! THANK YOU, KRISTEN for reminding me that we are empowered and enlightened beings. We have the answers! And we don’t need to give them away. Maybe the bad guys do always win. But their game is crashing and burning all around. And the good guys are rising from the ashes! VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

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Deja Vu


June 20th, 2011

cloudy
Well, the view is a little cloudy these days, but the light is still getting through. Though admittedly, there were a couple days last week when I wasn’t so sure. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you will know that I am slowly recovering from a couple different accidents (a TOXIC EXPOSURE and a CAR CRASH). These have been inspiring a number of complications which I am discerning how to navigate. I haven’t figured out all the answers yet, but I can tell you that the outcome is destined to be something unusual. A lot of issues related to this struggle are climaxing right now. In a big way. It’s complicated. As such, I’m going to break them down over a few posts. As I try to digest them.

eyefb
One of my big dramas this week has been with my eye. I was sitting in my apartment, typing on my computer last week. Seemingly out of nowhere, I started to get this really dry feeling in my eye at the same time that it felt like there was a foreign object in it. At first, I thought I got an eyelash in my eye. But when I looked in the mirror, I found this…

eye
A big, ugly, growth on my eyeball. Attractive, right? Now before you get too freaked out, I should tell you that it’s not contagious. And on top of that, this EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TWO YEARS AGO. It’s some IMMUNE SYSTEM MALFUNCTION, episcleritis. The last time this happened, I was freaked out. They referred me to an immunologist who I waited five months (on pins and needles) to see.

eye up
I went through all manner of testing (which I should add I am still paying off). And where did that get me? Pretty much nowhere. The doctor at the time told me that I didn’t have lupus…YET. Well, last week after this happened, my doctor told me I should go back to rheumatology and get checked (essentially exactly where I went two years ago…for the second time). This would have been my third trip to rheumatology. At this point, I had a meltdown. Seriously. What is the point? Every time I go, it’s this horribly expensive ordeal that’s really stressful, they never figure out anything, and at least half of the time someone (who shouldn’t even be licensed to practice medicine) tells me I’m a hypochondriac. NO WAY, JOSE. I’m not doing that AGAIN.

anomalies
At first, I demanded to get sent to the Mayo. I was really upset. The good news is that this spurred a heart to heart with my doctor that was long overdue. The bad news is that they don’t know what is wrong. It is likely some variation of autoimmune disease. This is completely NOT SHOCKING to me. Unfortunately, autoimmune diseases are hard to diagnose anyway. Especially weird ones. It could be that it’s lupus. Or it could be something else. Whatever it is, it’s not lighting up the classic profile of test results. So they basically just keep an eye on me. And watch out for more complications until they can figure it out. This conundrum has caused a number of complications in my life that also climaxed this week. Epic sagas which deserve their own post. But in essence, I’m not even sure if I want them to figure it out honestly. Because if they do, all they can do is put me on steroids for the rest of my life. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you will also know that my LIVER IS NOT RIGHT. So while I would appreciate the validation, I don’t think that is ultimately a viable path for me. Not if I want to live anyway. Have I mentioned that this has been going on for five years? This is difficult enough for me to digest, and I’m a fairly open-minded, free spirit. My poor mother is about to tear her hair out. Yesterday, she hung up the phone on me because I decided to wait on the Mayo. Interestingly, this was my mild drama from last week. There’s a lot more of that coming down the pipe. Let me tell you…

kale bed
In other more inspiring news, my garden is looking great! Here is my KALE FOREST. On the end, we have a couple rows of dino kale. The rest is green curly kale. The two plants that are flowering are actually the two that survived the winter. Amazing! I have been munching off of this bed a lot this week. We had a few nice rainstorms that really perked up all my lettuces.

lettuce bed
Speaking of, check out my other lettuces. Looking good!! The swiss chard and the romaine are looking mighty fine! I filmed a video for PRL TV of me setting up my garden beds this year. I hope to have that ready soon.


I have some arugula and WILD SPINACH that is going to peak soon too. I love summertime! My grocery bill is going down, down, down.

berries
I also picked some perfect alpine strawberries the other day. These are the best berries I will eat all year. So good! They are red all the way through. Not like the big white in the middle ones you get at the store.

So all in all, I’m hangin’ pretty tough out here. I don’t think I have ever experienced such dramatic and rapid change in my life as I am currently experiencing. And I should add that I am a change embracing bohemian type of girl. But this. This is truly epic. More on that later…

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The Mind-Body Connection


May 26th, 2011

window
It’s amazing at times how things come together. Things which are seemingly unrelated coincide uncannily with other things that your conscious mind sees as separate. It makes you realize who’s really running the show sometimes. This is a pic from my continuing window series, THE VIEW FROM MY CHEF’S TABLE.

wakingThis week, the recurring theme in my subconscious is the mind-body connection. It all started innocently enough. I got a message from my boyfriend’s sister, Julie. She started yoga this week. She needed a ride, and I offered to take her. Normally, it would be a bit of a trek, but this week in particular it was meant to be. I was scheduled to get my MRI close by at around the time she needed to go. PLUS, this was a very special yoga class. An adaptive yoga class taught by MATTHEW SANFORD. After my CAR CRASH, I came across his truly inspiring story. He was paralyzed in a horrible crash at the age of 13. This story chronicles his healing journey. He is now an expert on the mind-body connection, and he teaches adaptive yoga for people with disabilities. Julie has spina bifida. I had mentioned the book to her at the time, and she had heard of Matthew Sanford.  That little seed sprouted into her signing up for his class.  Monday just so happened to be the day of her first class and my MRI. An interesting coincidence (as you’ll come to see).

matthew sanford
Matthew Sanford was fascinating. I was too shy to go talk to him, but I was very impressed with him. He had very radiant energy. Limitless. That’s the first thing you notice about him when he comes into the room. This is a topic which he touched on in his book and the class. That yoga helped him to become conscious of this energy and how it moved through his body. He also talks a lot about the mind-body connection (which I find fascinating).

crash
After the CRASH, an interesting thing happened to me (which Matthew Sanford describes in his book). Many survivors of these types of accidents speak of this phenomenon. I became very euphoric. I giggled a lot. People would ask me why I was so giddy after being in a crash. Things that were supposed to hurt..didn’t. I just didn’t feel anything. Because of my LIVER ISSUES, I wasn’t really able to take any of the pain medications that were prescribed. And I think this only heightened a sort of natural endorphin response. I felt very connected to something otherworldly. I had the sense that there were guardian angels watching over me.

chair
The mechanics of the crash were truly awe inspiring to me. The door that received the impact of the crash came to the middle of the steering wheel. I was sitting in the driver’s seat. In this seat. It was hard for me to fathom how I survived this crash short of a miracle.

aura
Not long after this happened, I had a picture of my aura taken on a whim. I’m generally kind of skeptical about this kind of thing. But the outcome was interesting. The girl asked me if I was healing from some major illness, and I said ‘Yes. Why do you ask?’ She said my aura was all white which usually means the body is in a major healing crisis. They also had designation for how much of you manifested as body, mind, and spirit. I was 0% body, 1% mind, and 99% spirit. Matthew Sanford speaks a lot in his book of disconnecting from his body when things became too painful. That much of his healing journey involved him figuring out how to reconnect with his broken body on a conscious level. That you separate from your body as a protective mechanism. And that in going back to it, you reconnect with the pain and memories of what happened to it. I feel like I have been going through a process of this ever since the crash. And it has been hitting me over the head this week.

fissure
Yesterday, I went in to get the results of my MRI. This isn’t actually mine, but this is what it looked like. What I found out was that I have a ‘fissure’. I’ve never heard of this. Apparently, this means that one of the discs between my L4/L5 vertebrae (the one picture here) is ripped. The gelatin-like stuff inside is leaking out and bulging into my spinal cord. This is causing some nerve problems where my leg goes numb, etc. What’s interesting is that I believe that this natural endorphin response/disconnect from my body has allowed me to tolerate the pain of this injury really well. I’m not even consciously aware that I am doing it. But I think the stress of doing this all the time is causing me to have headaches. I should qualify this statement with the fact that I have no scientific basis for saying this. It’s just my instinct. I am reconnecting with my body little by little! And it is teaching me some very important lessons. I’ll keep you posted on my progress…

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The Monster In My Closet


April 20th, 2011

contemplating
Well, the time has come. I have got to get something off my chest. Something that I have been wrestling with for almost five years. In the beginning, it seemed like a straightforward enough problem. One that I could deal with and move on from efficiently. Once it was defined, anyway. So I stuffed it away in my closet figuring that once things were neatly sorted out, I would deal with it appropriately. No need to raise alarms now, I thought. I’m not even sure what it is.

Well, in that time, IT turned out to be much more than I bargained for. In just about every respect. The more I looked for answers, the more elusive they became. The monster in my closet grew and grew. The uncertainty just made it grow more. Meanwhile, I waited. Once I find the answers, I’ll be able to slay the dragon, I thought. But the answers never came. At least, not from where they were supposed to. And the monster only grew.

baby me and mom

Me and my mom (a few years back)

Well, now the monster has outgrown me. It’s clearly beyond my control at this point. It can no longer be contained in my closet. It’s time to let him out, warts and all. And let the pieces fall where they may. So, here it is…

Five years ago, I suffered a severe toxic exposure. I haven’t spoken very explicitly about it here because it was a very messy situation. But I am coming to realize now that not putting my truth out into the world is only hurting me. I need to connect with that truth now so that I can truly move through this situation (instead of carrying the baggage around). Essentially, I discovered that I had been living over an open sewer main for four years. I discovered this because I was getting sick and not knowing why. And my instinct (and a few calls to people more knowledgeable than I) led me to discover that the plumbing in my apartment was not as it should have been.

I went through a lot after this. Initially, I developed severe respiratory and digestive issues. For six weeks, I had the most horrible, fully body, dry, possessed by aliens and sounding like a dying animal cough. Then, I was finally sent to the right doctor who determined that I had in fact been exposed to toxic sewer gas and that the hydrogen sulfide in the gas had eaten through the lining of my lungs causing my respiratory issues (which incidentally never went away).

not sugar plums
Once I got the respiratory (most immediate threat) issues under control, we started to work on my digestive system. This was much more complicated. Initially, I went through several rounds of testing for every possible infection, parasite, allergy, etc. This took a while. Essentially, they do one round of tests and don’t figure anything out. Then, they send you home until it gets bad enough for you to come back. Since previous rounds of testing were generally unproductive, I think most people put off going back until they reach new levels of discomfort. Needless to say, it’s a less than pleasant process. After they exhaust all the tests, they send you in for a COLONOSCOPY. Where you actually get to see your insides on TV! The colonoscopy was actually not so bad. It was the endoscopy that was traumatic. I think they are generally supposed to put you under for this. But for whatever reason, they decided to feed the camera tube down my throat while I was awake. I was literally crying and fighting my gag reflex back while they were yelling at me to ‘BREATHE!’. This was to stop the dry heaving. Remind me to never do that again.

Anyway, they determined after this that I was most likely having an allergic reaction to something I was eating and that I should do an elimination diet to figure out what it was. All in all, it took me fifteen months to figure out that I had developed a sensitivity to chemicals in my food. This is what attracted me in the beginning to raw food. This is also what led me to realize just how ubiquitous chemicals in our food are and how vigilant one must be in this day and age to avoid them. Well, raw food was the most natural and unprocessed diet I could find. AND it was ideal for people that were trying to detoxify their systems which seemed right up my alley. My main obstacle at this point was that I didn’t know how to cook. At all. This was about the time when I started this blog.

hospital
Once I got the digestive issues somewhat stabilized, a new issue STARTED TO EMERGE. I had a foreshadowing event, I suppose. Some UNEXPLAINED TEST RESULTS. I had gotten strange calls from my doctors telling me not to be worried but that I had some test results that were raising concerns. Well, as anyone with any unexplained medical symptoms will tell you, this is precisely the kind of call you need to be worried about.

hospital
It wasn’t long after that I ended up in the HOSPITAL with severe hepatitis. This is a long story in and of itself. So, I will spare you the details. But essentially my liver sort of imploded. I had a number of infections and test results at the time. I had Hepatitis A and Mono. Plus, some strange ANTIBODY RESULTS. The mono infection lasted for a year and a half. Though I didn’t know this at the time. I was told during the infection that it might be a FALSE POSITIVE. That it was more likely an immune system disorder, and I didn’t have Mono. For a year and a half I suffered through my life trying to pretend everything was okay and not knowing why things definitely weren’t. As it turns out, I actually DID have mono for all that time. But I still probably have some sort of immune system disorder. They’re still figuring things out.

weird eye
Since that time, I’ve had a number of unexplained symptoms and test results. Like these involuntary movements, for example. My body just jerks for no reason. Sometimes violently. Whatever it is that I have is very unusual. Right now, I have a really bad ulcer in my throat from a recurring thrush infection (that friend that you don’t really have anything in common with but you can’t really get rid of). Thrush infections are really common in people with compromised immune systems. They are not sure if my compromised immune system is caused by an immune system disorder or my damaged liver or both. Whatever it is, it’s clear that it’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

yoga girl
This brings me to my current conundrum. For five years, I’ve been waiting for an answer. The explanation that makes all of this make sense. A diagnosis. If I had this, I thought, I could connect with others who have the same thing. I could get answers! I could get help! But they haven’t come. Meanwhile, I’ve just been stuffing things in the closet to deal with later (when I finally get the answer!). But what I’m realizing now is that waiting for my answer is doing more harm than good. Maybe there ARE no answers. Maybe I will NEVER find them. Maybe that IS the answer. Whatever I have is some sort of environmental illness that is common among people with toxic exposures. In fact, this weekend out of desperation I started to look for studies of people exposed to sewer gas. Interestingly, I found a number of separate epidemiological studies conducted all over the world on sanitation workers and discovered that my symptoms are almost IDENTICAL to theirs!! It absolutely infuriates me that so many people all over the world suffer through illness for no good reason. And that other people make money from this. And this makes it impossible for them to see the suffering they are inflicting.

radiation
This was brought more into focus for me recently by current events in JAPAN. And the impact that is having on my family there. Seriously, HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE TO GET SICK AND SUFFER LIKE THIS BEFORE SOMETHING CHANGES?!!

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Holographic Sound Healing


March 5th, 2011


I had a very interesting experience this week that I want to tell you about. It’s called HOLOGRAPHIC SOUND HEALING. This was my first encounter with this healing modality, and my experience was very interesting to say the least. It’s very unlike anything I’ve tried before. To be honest, I’m not sure I really even fathom how it works. It works on many levels. My understanding of it is that it uses sound to recalibrate the vibrations in our body. Kind of like a tuning fork. Everything in our body vibrates at a certain frequency. When things are out of balance, you have dissonance. This therapy helps to restore balance. As a musician, this idea really appeals to me.

slumber party
In fact, the therapist who performed this for me is my friend, JANICE. We have known each other since the sixth grade, and we met through music. We were in orchestra together. I played the violin, and she played the cello. Here is a very old picture of us (She is peeking out from behind me).

Essentially, we sat down and decided what the intention of the session would be based on what my goals were. After some discussion, we came up with this beautiful thought. ‘I AM FREE OF TOXIC INFLUENCES AND PAIN AND I AM RADIATING ABUNDANCE AND STRENGTH ON ALL LEVELS OF MY BEING.’ Pretty catchy, right?

Once the intention was set, I hung up the phone and lied down (Janice lives in Florida so the therapy was performed remotely). I closed my eyes and for the first minute or so just saw blackness. After a minute or so, things started to shift. I started to see waves of light radiating outward. Kind of like radio waves. The other things I noticed were that a muscle in my hip loosened spontaneously, and I could at one point feel my liver jiggling (This was very unusual). After that, I just fell asleep. When I woke up, over an hour had passed. I sat up, looked at the clock, and a few seconds later Janice called me back.

Janice had some very interesting insights about me. She said that my liver and my neck were needing a lot of help. Which is interesting since these are my two biggest problems right now. She also said there was something in my leg that looked like a nerve that was open. I hadn’t mentioned this to her, but I have some nerve damage from the ACCIDENT. There is a nerve that runs down my leg from my hip that goes numb a lot. When this happens, I have to sit down. It’s interesting to me that she could see this. If I were in the room with her, I would have gotten to hear the healing sounds of her recalibrating me. She said that the music that was coming out was very Asian sounding which is interesting too (since I am Asian and Janice is not).  She said that things would still be shifting for up to 36 hours afterwards, but that I had released a LOT of stuff.  I wasn’t sure what to expect afterwards, but here are some things I noticed.

1.  PHYSICAL RELEASE.  The first couple days after the most obvious thing that I noticed was that indeed my liver WAS dumping a lot of stuff.  I was having a lot of the BURPING SYMPTOMS that I associate with my liver trying to let go of things.  I was also…how should I put this…way beyond regular.  I physically let go of a LOT.

2.  IMPROVEMENT IN PAIN SYMPTOMS.  I noticed that I felt less weighed down.  A lot of my pain issues are caused my muscle tightness/spasming.  It’s a very dense feeling in your muscles.  I felt noticeably less restricted this way.  Though I still have a lot of work to do in this department.  It’s a big job.  I’ve been getting massage therapy on it very regularly since the crash.  It is helping too, but there’s a lot of ground to cover.

3.  BRINGING MENTAL BLOCKS INTO MY AWARENESS.  Probably the biggest thing I’ve noticed is a shift in perspective.  One side effect of illness (and many of life’s obstacles) is a feeling of being beaten down.  Your old life doesn’t work anymore and you inevitably run into situations  where limitations and obstacles are blocking your movement.  What I’m starting to bring into my awareness is this need to shake all of that off when you rebuild again.  You have to not be afraid to try again.  And not be afraid of your limitations or you will be defined by them.  I’ve been noticing more and more how this has impacted me.  And how I’ve been in a pattern of self-sabotage in a way.  After all, as my friend Joshua would say (pictured above), ‘This is MY movie!’  And I can make it into whatever I want.

It’s good to remember that.  Anyway, this first session was so successful that I might try it again soon.  I’ll keep you posted…

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Signs of Progress


November 16th, 2010

kitty and tray
This is Miss Cassie O. Kitty. She LOVES wheatgrass…even the seeds. She now has her own little cup of grass growing next to her bed. She is my boyfriend’s cat but only recently came to live with us. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may know that I was originally drawn to raw/living cuisine for HEALTH REASONS. One issue that I was suffering from was severe respiratory problems. As a result, kitty had to go live with my boyfriend’s mom for a while (about three years).

kitty and me
Things have gradually improved over that time. So recently, kitty came back to live with us. So far things are going pretty well. She still isn’t allowed in my room. But things have improved (at least the respiratory aspects).

wheatgrass
Maybe it was the wheatgrass? Speaking of, I think I’m going to go make some right now…

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Downsizing the Dream


July 8th, 2010

parfait
Well, things have been a little tricky this week. Since I BROKE MY HIP (I guess I cracked a rib too!), I haven’t been able to do very many things for myself. I usually do most of the food prep with help sometimes from my boyfriend. But he has been really AMAZING lately. He made me this. It’s coconut yogurt (which he made from scratch) with strawberries and cacao nibs. He also made kefir! And he’s been making me green juices and smoothies every day. Way to make a person feel loved!

me with my walker
Here’s me enjoying my parfait with my walker. With this kind of VIP treatment, I should be better in no time!

new car
Going for a ride in the new (old) car. We bought it from my boyfriend’s cousin, Marilyn, who has my same birthday and middle name.

boxHere is my boyfriend boxing up my new DEHYDRATOR with the blinky lights. It’s a great looking dehydrator, but unfortunately it doesn’t dry things so well. Maybe it’s just too closed off with not enough air circulation. That’s my personal theory anyway. So yeah, I guess you can say that I’ve crossed into the next phase of empire building: MEETING OBSTACLES HEAD ON. I just need to remember that this is part of the process. I was actually starting to wonder. Things were happening too easily – a recipe for long term failure. Obstacles make a person stronger and have more empathy for others. Unfortunately, they’re generally expensive and make one have to strip down to a more elemental state. Time to cut the flack out of the system. No more blinky.

zuch
Good thing I won’t have to downsize EVERYTHING. Like this zucchini that’s growing like crazy in my garden. I CAN NOT WAIT until I can stand up and start making recipes again. I think I’m getting there. Maybe soon…

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Nice Ride MN


June 5th, 2010

nice ride
Check this out! My fair city is unveiling this new program this month that is FANTASTIC! It’s called NICE RIDE MN. Basically, they’re installing these bike kiosks all around the city. This is the first one (conveniently installed in front of my FAVORITE restaurant, the BIRCHWOOD CAFE). For a $60/year subscription, you can borrow a bike at any of these kiosks and return it at your convenience. You can also do 1 day or 1 month subscriptions!

How cool is that?! I have lived a lot of places. But Minneapolis is definitely the best city for biking!! I love this town!

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